


I like me better when I’m with you

by Toomanyfandoms99



Series: (No Longer A) Secret Marriage [39]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Greek Mythology - Freeform, M/M, Mythology - Freeform, Secret Marriage, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 17:24:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,017
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16123262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toomanyfandoms99/pseuds/Toomanyfandoms99
Summary: Blue.  Green.  Hazel.Gabriel always thought Sam’s eyes contained the entire world within them.  This moment was no exception.Sam studied Gabriel, exhaling deeply and wearing a look of confusion.“Gabriel.  Sam.”The couple’s eyes widened, and they pushed themselves up.Chuck.





	I like me better when I’m with you

**Author's Note:**

> The title is taken from the song “I Like Me Better” by Lauv, also indicated with ellipsis. I also included “Devotion” by Ellie Goulding” and “Somewhere Only We Know” by Keane. Enjoy!

Charlie appeared in Heaven shortly after Jo did.

Her Heaven was, to Dean and Castiel’s surprise, the bunker where the entire family lived for countless years.

“It was the first place I was safe and happy,” a youthful Charlie explained.

Dean and Cas were nostalgic upon traversing around a copy of the endless bunker that used to be their home. Charlie went along with them, babbling about what the couple had missed on Earth. 

Charlie also expressed how excited she was to see Dean and Cas again. “I always had a niggling doubt about the validity of this Heaven stuff in the back of my mind, but you’ve proven me wrong,” she said. “I’m glad to know that life on Earth wasn’t the end of us all.”

Charlie updated them on Earth events. Despite just dying, she was as cheerful as ever. “Jo updated me on what she told you when she got here. So, you should know that Sam and Gabriel are starting to look their age.” Charlie scowled playfully. “I can’t believe those assholes outlived me.” Then, she rattled off, “Kevin has a second daughter, Alex is engaged to the already-mentioned British guy, Patience is married, and Claire and Kaia are still doing great. Lily is becoming quite a hotheaded smarty-pants. That girl is too much like Claire, if you ask me. At least they both have Kaia.”

After spending the day together, Dean and Castiel bid Charlie goodbye until next time.

————

Charlie and Jo stuck together again like glue, much to Dean and Cas’s dismay.

They could only imagine the hijinks that would ensue when the entire bunker clan was together again in the afterlife.

————

“I got you.”

“Do you?!”

Castiel smiled reassuringly at Charlie’s panicked expression. “I got you! Promise.”

“Pinky promise?!”

Ice congealed in the air as Cas huffed. He held out his gloved hand, Charlie doing the same. “Pinky promise.”

They locked pinky fingers.

Charlie huffed out some cold air. “Okay.” She looked down at the ice skates strapped to her feet, then at the rink a foot away. “You got me?”

Castiel held onto Charlie’s side, in a strange one-armed hug position. “I already promised!”

“Just checking,” Charlie said defensively.

They heard laughs from a few feet away.

Cas rolled his eyes and turned to the side as much as he was able. “You’re not helping, Dean,” he chastised.

“Sorry,” Dean mumbled.

Cas asked Charlie, “are you ready to try this?”

Charlie took a shaky breath. “Okay.”

“I’ll be hanging on the whole time.”

“Good.”

Castiel and Charlie stepped forward in their skates slowly. Cas coached Charlie as she glided on the ice, keeping her calm and level-headed.

“The first thing you gotta do is bend your knees a little,” Cas said. “That’ll help balance you.” Charlie did so, Cas fixing her posture as necessary. Cas murmured helpful instructions, Dean watching from afar as Charlie got the hang of skating.

She was a natural.

Like the assbutt he was, Dean secured his own skates and hit the ice rink. He took a lap effortlessly around the oval, Castiel giving him the look of death.

“Don’t pay attention to him,” Cas said to Charlie, the redhead nodding. She pursed her lips and put all of her focus on not falling. 

And for the entire hour they were on the rink, she didn’t fall once.

————

Castiel didn’t know how he ended up singing a drunken duet with Charlie, but he wasn’t complaining.

————

“You look particularly radiant this morning.”

Castiel smiled. “Our friends are here. Of course I’m happy.”

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas’s waist. “You know what they say. Happy wife-”

Castiel punched Dean in the arm. 

————

Jo walked into her mother’s Roadhouse Heaven to find Jody, Donna, and a woman she didn’t know there.

The older women were drinking beers at a corner booth, whispering like a bunch of conspirators. Jo found herself smiling at the peculiar sight.

“Hiya, Mom,” Jo said, loud enough for Ellen to hear. She headed behind the Roadhouse bar, a burst of nostalgia hitting her.

“Jo?” Ellen asked confusedly.

Jo stuck her head over the counter so the women at the corner booth could see her. “Yup.”

“C’mere.”

Jo got herself a beer on tap and approached the four women. “Hiya.” She materialized a chair at the end of the table and sat. She took a sip of beer and placed it on the table. “Jody. Donna,” she stated as a greeting.

“Why’s she get a young body?” Donna asked bitterly.

Jody swatted her arm from across the table. “Not now.”

“Jo,” Ellen said, motioning to the blonde woman across from her, “this is Mary.”

“Winchester?!” Jo looked at the kind blonde woman, startled. “My goodness!” She held out her hand. “I’m Jo, Ellen’s daughter.”

Mary shook her hand. “Good to finally meet you.”

“Yeah, you too.” Jo broke into a grin. “You look like both of ‘em. I should’ve known.”

“What’d you come here for?” Ellen asked.

“Jeez, Mom,” Jo said jokingly, “you’re acting like you don’t wanna bask in my glorious presence.”

Ellen snorted. “Oh, please.”

“Can I be a part of your old ladies club?” Jo asked. “I’m an old lady, I assure you.”

“Whaddaya say, ladies?” Ellen addressed the women. “Should we invite my daughter into our exclusive gossip club?”

“Someone’s gotta keep tabs on the boys and Charlie,” Donna reminded Ellen.

“I’d like to hear what they’ve been up to so secretly,” Jody said. “I say we let her in.”

“I’ll back that up,” Mary said.

“Thank you,” Jo said sweetly. “You’re as lovely as Sam.”

“I’ll let her in,” Donna said.

“Then she’s in,” Ellen said. “Welcome to our elusive club. Tell us what you know.”

Jo drank a gulp of beer and said, “Cas is teaching Charlie how to ice skate. And last night,” Jo paused dramatically, “a bunch of us had a get-together. Well, it was me, Dean, Cas, Charlie, Balthazar, and Jack. At one point, there was karaoke. Cas and Charlie drunkenly sang ‘Don’t You Want Me’ by Human League.” The women laughed at the thought of such an image. “It was amazing. I forgot what besties those two are. The rest of us were just cackling the whole time.”

“That’s a good first story,” Jody said. “She can stay.”

Jo grinned victoriously.

————

“I could live underneath you,” Dean rumbled.

Coy eyelashes revealed Cas’s blue irises. “I think you’d get tired of me.”

Dean was far too blissed out for Cas’s insecurities. He raked his eyes over the statuesque body above him, — always bared completely for him — and murmured with complete certainty, “if I had my way, I would live right here. We would never leave this bed, and I wouldn’t allow you to wear clothes when we’re alone.”

This seemed to have the opposite effect than what Dean intended. Cas hid his gaze with his eyelashes and said, “my body is an illusion.”

“I remember how you really looked,” Dean said, emphasizing every word. “I replay the memory you showed me of your true form often.”

It was true. It was how Dean reminded himself who he truly loves: a former angel made of lights and wings and infinity. A creature that was inconceivable to the human eye, so layered and complex that Dean still discovered new facets to his husband’s old form based on his memory. At first glance, Cas was a rainbow and bright lights and a mass of black wings. But he was also the moon and stars and sun and the whole damn solar system. He was black holes and unexplored planets and never-ending galaxies. He was kingly lions and ferocious tigers and majestic horses and protective wolves. He was nature and the sky and the water.

Castiel Winchester was everything, and nothing all at once. It took Dean ages to realize just who he loved and the importance of what Cas had sacrificed for him. From being an entire galaxy to a small speck of dust on Earth, a tiny human when he was once the size of a Chrysler building.

All Dean ever saw was Cas’s body, but he knew the full weight of what was beneath the skin, and what used to be there.

“Do you truly?” Cas breathed in disbelief, finally meeting Dean’s eyes again.

“Yes. Truly.” Dean snaked his arms around Cas’s middle, his palms splaying below Cas’s shoulder blades. “You will always be the force of nature I fell in love with, regardless of the situation. I understand,” Dean’s hands travelled across the valley of Cas’s back, “that this is just wrapping paper. When I say I want to live underneath you,” Dean emphasized, “I do mean the inner you, the you that only I’ve gotten a glimpse of.”

Tears pricked at the corner of Cas’s eyes. “I didn’t ever scare you.” It came out as a question and a statement.

“Never,” Dean whispered. “I tamed the stars, the sea, the king of the jungle. I only ever revere you.”

Cas’s lips fell atop Dean’s, hard. Dean hummed at the change of pace and adjusted accordingly, teeth and tongues clashing. Dean hooked his heel on the base of Cas’s spine, tumbling them over so that Dean was on top. Cas surprisingly allowed the seamless change, Dean capturing Cas’s lips for a moment longer.

When Dean forcibly pried his lips from Cas’s, they both panted like they’d just run a marathon. Cas was a bit of a wreck beneath Dean, and the former hunter felt a burst of pride at what he’d achieved.

Cas exhaled, “you really see me.”

“I can always see you,” Dean echoed.

A smirk dominated Cas’s features. “Doctor Who? Really?”

Dean shrugged, grinning broadly in response to Cas’s smile. “I watched it with you. I absorbed the information. So what?”

Cas huffed out a laugh. “You’re ridiculous, Dean Winchester.”

“I love you too, Castiel Winchester.”

Cas rolled his eyes, but he was clearly endeared. “C’mere.”

Dean’s lips dropped onto Cas’s, the couple losing themselves in each other yet again.

————

“Sure you both wanna meet him?” Dean asked, looking at Charlie and Jo.

They were on the doorstep of John’s small house in Heaven, courtesy of Balthazar. 

“Yup,” Jo said. “I don’t remember your old man.”

“I wanna see if he accepts my gay ass,” Charlie said, as if stating a challenge only she was privy to.

Cas’s hand closed around Dean’s unoccupied one. He winked at Charlie and said, “this will be a real test of John’s acceptance.”

Dean knocked on the door.

————

“He’s for real,” Charlie declared once they left John’s house.

————

Cas entered Dean’s vision seemingly out of nowhere.

Dean plucked an earbud out of his ear, a song he was rather fond of playing on his iPod.

Yes. He used an iPod, even in Heaven.

Cas sat beside Dean at the docks, thighs touching. He rolled up his jeans and dipped his feet in the water, mimicking Dean.

Without speaking or asking, Cas took Dean’s offered earbud and set it in his ear. Cas rested his head on Dean’s shoulder and listened to the final part of the song that Dean would never admit to anyone he liked.

...Damn, I like me better when I’m with you. I like me better when I’m with you. I knew from the first time, I’d stay for a long time ‘cause I like me better when, I like me better when I’m with you…

Cas reached for Dean’s hand, lacing their fingers together, resting them on Dean’s thigh. 

As the next song cued up, Cas murmured, “I like me better when I’m with you too.”

Dean pressed a kiss into Cas’s hair in answer.

————

Showing Charlie the music library in Heaven was an instant mistake on Castiel’s part. 

He knew — as soon as he saw Charlie’s signature mischievous grin — that she was going to play a song for him. Most likely a song that he could attribute to his relationship with Dean.

Cas thought it was far too easy to find applicable love songs. And now that the music menace Charlie was here, she was going to make Cas’s life hell.

But Castiel knew there were worse hells than this.

Charlie chose a song without showing him the title, the music flowing throughout the echoing chamber.

...Open up and let me in, show the bruises on your skin. Let the fires all burn out, I can hear the silent shout in you. Let it go don’t be so scared, find the love you lost again. Let the chaos disappear, don’t you know I’m always here for you?...

 

That last line elicited a reaction from Cas. He recalled being frustrated that Dean couldn’t see the people that cared for him right in front of him. Part of the reason it took so long to enter a romantic relationship was because Dean would get too wrapped up in his own worries to ask how Cas was doing or feeling. Dean rectified that mistake as soon as Castiel returned from Purgatory.

...‘Cause this is devotion, I am lost, you’re the only one I see. Our bodies in motion, I am caught, floating in your gravity. Whatever you break, I’ll fix it for you. I’m the one who drives to you at night. And maybe we’ll fall a little deeper, I think our little hearts will be alright. ‘Cause this is devotion…

Cas pretended to rifle through songs and records and albums. Charlie’s triumphant grin was making him uncomfortable. He knew it was all in good fun, though. 

...Tell me what you dream about, I lose you in my sleep, somehow. Let the chaos disappear, don’t you know I’m always there for you? ‘Cause this is devotion, I am lost, you’re the only one I see. Our bodies in motion, I am caught, floating in your gravity. Whatever you break, I’ll fix it for you. I’m the one who drives to you at night. And maybe we’ll fall a little deeper, I think our little hearts will be alright. ‘Cause this is devotion...

 

Castiel listened, trying to not seem so transparent. He thought of the chorus, and how it truly described how he felt upon meeting Dean. His husband was all he saw. Cas was caught in his gravity and couldn’t break free, no matter how hard he tried. 

...‘Cause this is devotion, I am lost, you’re the only one I see. Our bodies in motion, I am caught, floating in your gravity. ‘Cause this is devotion, I am lost, you’re the only one I see. Our bodies in motion, I am caught, floating in your gravity. Whatever you break, I’ll fix it for you. I’m the one who drives to you at night. And maybe we’ll fall a little deeper, I think our little hearts will be alright. ‘Cause this is devotion…

The end of the song encompassed the room in silence.

Cas said to Charlie nonchalantly, “it’s good.”

Charlie’s grin grew wider, not buying his charade. “Uh huh…”

————

Dean entered the Roadhouse to see Ellen, Jo, Donna, Jody, and Mary chatting at a booth. He raised an eyebrow and asked, loud enough so they could hear, “is this a secret all-girl’s club?”

The women whirled around to look at Dean.

Jo replied, “yes. You can join, if you like.”

Dean scowled. “Very funny.”

Jo cackled at her own joke. “Your bitchface only proves my point.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said gruffly. He approached Jo and patted her on the head. “I should cut off your hair.”

Jo mock gasped and scowled up at him. Dean would never hurt her in such a way, sibling relationship aside. She pulled out her unfailing trump card. “What would Cas say?”

Dean faltered.

“Ha!” Jo exclaimed. “Is he with Charlie?”

“Yes.”

“So you’re bored?”

“No.”

Jo stared at Dean pointedly.

“Yes.”

Jo aww’ed. “So sad.” She turned to the women. “Should we take pity on him?”

“No,” Mary said.

Dean gasped. “Mom!”

“I’m kidding,” Mary said. 

Everyone allowed Dean to join the club for this day only.

————

Castiel toted Charlie to Ellen’s Heaven, where the women and Dean were gathered.

Charlie bashfully met Mary, this being the final box checked off on Dean and Cas’s to-do list.

————

“Am I spending too much time with Charlie?”

Dean was surprised Cas had the foresight to ask. 

He thought carefully about his answer. He truly was fine with Cas hanging out with his best friend. However, Dean was getting withdrawal symptoms. He was so used to having Cas close by all the time that he forgot how it felt to spend hours without him. Dean used to spend several days and weeks and months without Cas. He had no clue how he had the strength to do that back then.

Dean replied in Enochian, “you make up for it when you take your clothes off for me every night.”

Cas would normally smack his arm for saying such a thing. But he pursed his lips and was silent for a moment. He spun his silver wedding ring with his other hand. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad Charlie and Jo are here,” Dean said genuinely.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“You don’t gotta. We have forever.”

Cas’s eyes pierced through Dean’s. “But I will. Would you like it if,” Dean sensed a lightbulb go off in Cas’s head, “we spent the day together tomorrow? I have something to show you.”

“Color me intrigued.” Dean smiled. “I could never say no to that.”

————

“Darlin’?”

A radiant grin reached Cas’s face. “Yeah?”

“Am I seeing what I think I’m seeing?”

Castiel had never done anything of this magnitude before. He had discovered a concert cube in Heaven, of all things. Apparently, different dead bands and singers played every night. Cas looked into it and found out that one of Dean’s favorite bands was playing tonight.

Cas saved Dean’s shocked expression in his mind to revisit forever. He replied, as casually as if he was ordering off a takeout menu, “welcome to the concert cube.”

Dean stared at Castiel with his mouth agape. His freckles and green eyes sparkled in the rainbow lighting. “I love you so fucking much.”

Just then, the first guitar notes and drum beats lit up the packed concert cube.

Led Zeppelin started their first song, and Dean was completely enraptured by the sight.

————

Castiel couldn’t complain one bit when, after the concert, he found himself making out with Dean against walls until they fell into bed together.

————

Dean stroked Cas’s hair, his husband’s head against his bare chest.

It wasn’t often that Cas was so docile. Cas practically purred against Dean after they made love and drifted off to sleep the previous night.

Cas preferred to be the dominant one in bed, something that Dean enjoyed abiding by. But Dean switched their roles last night as a thank you for taking him to see Led Zeppelin.

Led. Fucking. Zeppelin.

Dean still couldn’t believe that happened.

Dean ran his fingers through Cas’s messy hair, humming a Led Zeppelin song as he observed his husband sleeping. Dean delighted in Cas’s stubble scratching against his skin, Cas’s ear pressed to Dean’s false heartbeat. Dean counted his husband’s eyelashes, brushing delicately against Cas’s cheeks like feathers. Dean directed his attention to Cas’s arm, splayed against his stomach haphazardly.

Dean didn’t know why Cas loves his stomach so much. It wasn’t as defined as it used to be. He started to eat too much and lost his muscle in that area before he was forty. But Cas loves running the pads of his fingers across Dean’s soft stomach, splaying his palm there, like it was now.

Cas truly loves every part of Dean, even the parts he hates about himself. Motions like this reminded Dean what a lucky bastard he was.

Balthazar told him once in confidence that shared Heavens were incredibly rare. Only a handful of couples in the entirety of existence were perfect matches for each other. Balthazar said he and Cas were the first true soulmates in centuries to have a residence in Heaven.

It made Dean feel honored and burdened with responsibility at the same time.

Dean heard Cas stirring against his chest, a little noise coming from the back of his throat. His eyes fluttered open a few beats later, hazy from sleep. Cas’s fingers drummed against Dean’s stomach. Dean continued his ministrations with Cas’s hair, causing Cas to hum.

Cas tilted his head upwards, Dean meeting Cas’s blue-gray eyes. “Hey, beautiful,” he whispered, his voice sleep-rough.

Dean blushed. “Hey, darlin’.” He thought of asking something, but decided against it.

Cas picked up on it. “What is it?”

Dean forced out, “was I, um, too rough with you last night?” 

Cas shook his head. “You were,” he smirked, “wonderful.” A beat. “You can be a little rough with me sometimes. It’s alright.” Cas rested his chin on Dean’s chest. “You should know by now that I won’t break.”

Dean nodded in understanding. “I like being soft with you,” Dean murmured. “In my world, where everything used to be rough,” he ruffled Cas’s hair, “I’d rather be slow and soft with you.”

“I understand,” Cas said softly, “but keep what I said in mind.” Cas crawled closer, until his head hovered an inch from Dean’s. His eyes half-lidded, he said breathily, “you hear me?”

“Always, gorgeous,” Dean breathed.

Cas leaned forward, and Dean forgot about everything except Cas’s lips on his.

————

Gabriel’s vision was encompassed in light.

He blinked rapidly, a blurry image softening and sharpening.

Sam.

Sam laid beside him, a mattress enveloping one side of Gabriel’s body.

A younger Sam. Gabriel was startled at the youth in him, his hair shorter than he’d ever seen it, his features taking on a delicate quality. Gabriel absorbed the sight with clear vision and saw Sam’s long eyelashes flutter open.

Blue. Green. Hazel. 

Gabriel always thought Sam’s eyes contained the entire world within them. This moment was no exception.

Sam studied Gabriel, exhaling deeply and wearing a look of confusion.

“Gabriel. Sam.”

The couple’s eyes widened, and they pushed themselves up. 

Chuck.

“Sup, Dad,” Gabriel said casually. “We dead?”

“I’m afraid so,” Chuck said. He frowned and said, “sorry, Sam.”

Sam sighed, but nodded in acceptance.

————

“You look,” Sam tried to find the correct word, but settled on, “different.”

Sam had never seen Gabriel look this young before. Smooth complexion, short cropped hair, a defined facial structure, a sloped nose and a mouth that seemed permanently affixed into a nonplussed expression. 

A chubbier body, but the same stout frame Sam was used to. The same attire that made Gabriel feel confident, a black leather jacket and a faded gray tee and fitted black jeans and comfortable boots. 

The same eyes that fascinated Sam upon cleaning the dirty lens that clouded his gaze for far too long. The same eyes that were an indescribable shade, often attributed to whiskey or molten gold.

Gabriel was different, but he was the same in all the ways that mattered.

Gabriel asked hesitantly, “is it a bad different?”

Sam glanced at the double doors and expansive front lawn before them, then back at Gabriel.

He was doing the look-up-through-his-eyelashes thing. Sam’s ultimate weakness. 

Sam replied honestly, “not at all.”

————

The second shared Heaven within a decade of each other.

Gabriel explained to Sam the significance of such an honor. They were both equally shocked. Neither of them considered each other soulmates, let alone a perfect match for one another. It went against all odds, but the idea of it was inescapable, hanging in the air between them.

Their shared Heaven, to both of their surprise, was a mansion. Their house on Earth was big, but not this big. 

They entered the mansion side-by-side, taking in the main chamber quietly. The chandelier and double sets of staircases and marble tile echoed with their footsteps.

“I knew you’d want a mansion,” Sam murmured, resonating loudly throughout the chamber, “but me?”

One side of Gabriel’s mouth quirked upwards. “Ever had a dream you owned a mansion?”

“I thought everyone did.”

“Not everyone.” Gabriel took his husband’s hand. “Come on. Let’s see if anything looks like something you’d put here.”

————

The mansion was almost endless.

It took hours to scope out every room and examine every detail. Sam found more than enough proof that this was his house as much as it was Gabriel’s.

“I still don’t think we’re perfect soulmates,” Sam said.

“Good,” Gabriel replied, “because I don’t either.”

————

Gabriel snuck away to the music room the first chance he could. It was late at night, and it was clear that it would take more time for Sam to adjust than he planned. Gabriel let Sam feign sleep while he padded over to his new favorite room in their shared mansion.

He soundproofed the music room upon shutting the door. He wanted to see the extent of his powers as a resident of Heaven.

An entire orchestra of instruments littered the open chamber, a piano as its centerpiece. Gabriel quaked in excitement. The piano truly was a work of art, and he couldn’t wait any longer to play it.

Gabriel sat on the piano bench, straightening his posture and wringing out his hands to steady them. He ordered a guitar hanging on the wall to play itself, and it did.

The guitar knew just what song to start. Gabriel touched a piano key, the chamber singing in response to the sound. Gabriel felt goosebumps prickle his arms.

This was amazing.

Gabriel started the instrumental on the piano, the guitar following suit. He hummed the words to himself.

...I walked across an empty land. I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet. Sat by the river, and it made me complete…

Gabriel was convinced that he would be alone forever. An immortal archangel with no one who truly cared about him to share his life with. But dammit, if Chuck didn’t make him a believer with Sam Winchester thrown in his path.

...Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin…

Ruminating on his relationship with Sam was strange for Gabriel. He was an asshole to Sam because of situations he was forced into. Sam taught him to think for himself and make the right choices. Gabriel died making his choice to save Sam, and he didn’t regret it. Chuck gave him a second chance at life, and Gabriel didn’t waste it.

...I came across a fallen tree. I felt the branches of it looking at me. Is this the place we used to love? Is this the place that I’ve been dreaming of?... 

Gabriel used to look for love anyplace he went. It was one of his many insecurities and fears: that no one would ever love him for who he was. So he constructed masks, and faked his way into people’s lives. He forgot who he was, and he didn’t care to find out. Until Sam knocked him off his feet and wormed past his defenses one conversation at a time. Gabriel rediscovered himself, and Sam fell in love with the bundle of contradictions he was.

...Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin…

Gabriel recalled, once discovering his affections for Sam, tiptoeing around him for two years. Even though they both felt something, neither were ready to close the distance yet. Gabriel burrowed in his feelings for Sam and made a home in them. He convinced himself that it would never happen, but it was Sam that had the guts to kiss him.

...And if you have a minute, why don’t we go, talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything, so why don’t we go, somewhere only we know?...

Gabriel switched the piano to play by itself, materializing a microphone and singing at a normal tone into it. He paced and let his voice carry through the soundproofed chamber, filled with a bout of confidence.

...Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin... 

Gabriel let his eyes fall shut and lost himself in the symphony he simulated. He perched on the top of his new piano and laid across it, feeling like he was flying across the sky with his long-gone wings.

...And if you have a minute, why don’t we go, talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go? So why don’t we go?...

Gabriel softened his voice again, liking how his tenor sounded with the piano vibrating underneath his skin. He focused on the ceiling and this invincible feeling, finishing the song.

...This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know, somewhere only we know, somewhere only we know?...

Gabriel’s final note rang in the chamber, the piano keys and guitar halting in their tune. He smiled to himself and rested the microphone on his chest.

Clapping resounded in the chamber’s silence.

Startled, Gabriel sat up on the piano with wide eyes and his false heart pounding.

Sam leaned against the doorframe, his hair shaggy, his shirt rumpled, and his sweatpants revealing a sliver of skin on his lower stomach.

Gabriel fought the urge to lick his lips.

He made the microphone disappear. “H-hi.”

Goddammit, Gabe. Get it together.

Sam sent a rare smile Gabriel’s way and strode forward, seemingly oblivious at how delectable he looked. He halted when his legs were between Gabriel’s, which were slung over the edge of the piano absentmindedly. Gabriel held himself up by placing his palms flat against the piano’s shiny marble surface. He would clean it later.

Gabriel was glad for the extra height the piano provided when Sam leaned forward. Their lips an exact three inches apart, Gabriel didn’t close the distance.

That was up to Sam.

Sam’s eyes had taken on a blue tone with this lighting, Gabriel observed. Gabriel tried not to drown in their depths.

Sam murmured, “remember what I said earlier?”

Sam had told Gabriel he wanted space. Sam wanted to abstain from sex until he understood Heaven’s rules and regulations. Gabriel couldn’t blame him; going from living to dead was a big adjustment.

Gabriel swallowed. He said, in a voice too weak and soft for his liking, “yes.”

Sam’s eyes bore into him. “Well fuck that.”

If Gabriel weren’t already in Heaven, he would have ascended to this astral plane at those words.

My God. 

Sam’s hands steadied Gabriel. Sam’s lips collided into his, and Gabriel tasted honey on his husband’s tongue.

————

“Why do we have multiple bedrooms, do you think?”

Gabriel slipped on a silk robe, his back to Sam as his husband watched him. He was always so hot and bothered when Sam did this that he had to turn around to conceal a fire truck red blush. He fastened the robe tie and peered at Sam over his shoulder. He replied, “one for every day of the week.”

Sam huffed out a laugh. “That one’s your desire, then.”

Gabriel winked, turning his full body to examine Sam’s. “Sorry, babe. A strange fantasy, but a glamorous and valid one.”

“If that’s your definition of glamorous,” Sam shrugged, “then so be it.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline. “You’ll go along with it?!”

A shirt and boxers materialized on Sam’s body, to Gabriel’s chagrin. “If all the beds are as wonderful as this one,” Sam’s head sank into the pillow, “I have no problem with it.”

“Damn,” Gabriel said incredulously, lying beside Sam again, “this perfect soulmate thing might have some supportive evidence.”

Sam hummed in consideration, then changed the subject. “How about you teach me how things work around here?”

Gabriel settled beside Sam, sharing his pillow. “We can take the tutorial from here.”

————

Gabriel and Sam didn’t know how much time they spent within the grounds of their Heaven.

They knew endless possibilities awaited them outside their mansion, but they quickly got caught up in each other.

Sam learned all he could about Heaven, and Gabriel explored the mansion. The hours in between were spent making love on any bed or any couch or any comfortable surface they could find.

Gabriel felt like the hottest guy in the world. He wasn’t supposed to be feel this secure and sexy in his body. Gabriel went so far as to ask Sam if he liked his body despite the flaws in it.

Sam answered, “I want you to be comfortable, and I prefer you like this. You don’t have to look skinny for me.”

That made Gabriel feel even hotter. After that, he carried himself with a little more confidence, stood taller, held his head higher. He could tell Sam approved of the change just by the increasingly desirous looks he received.

This lead to a conversation about editing and creating tattoos. As an example, Gabriel made a form of his angel wing tattoo appear — instead of on his wrist — on his ankle. The wing curled like a serpent around Gabriel’s lower leg. He decided to keep it. Then, Sam brought back his anti-possession tattoo and placed it above his left ankle instead of his collarbone.

“How edgy,” Gabriel quipped, observing their tattoos. “And secretive.”

Sam and Gabriel spent days and days in their own little world, basking in their version of paradise.

————

“Do you want to venture out sometime?”

Sam exhaled through his nose. “I don’t know. I don’t feel ready yet.”

Gabriel said supportively, “when you’re ready, I’m ready. I’m in no rush either.”

“This feels,” Sam’s face flushed pink, “like a vacation.”

“We didn’t have much of those in life,” Gabriel mused. “I get it.” He smiled. “I really do love being here with you, just us.”

“I do too,” Sam agreed.

————

After spending the day swimming in their indoor pool, Sam and Gabriel settled on a bed of blankets, still smelling faintly of chlorine.

Gabriel murmured, “something about us being perfect soulmates is confusing me.”

“Me too,” Sam rumbled. His eyes sparkled at what he saw contained within Gabriel’s: a brilliant idea. “I love that face,” Sam remarked. He turned to his side, the blankets wrinkling and shifting. “What is it?”

Gabriel matched Sam’s position. He voiced an idea. “We should find one of the other perfect couples and ask them why they think they qualify.”

Sam hummed in agreement. “Our brothers are out of the question.”

“Yes,” Gabriel agreed. “I know one of the couples personally. And everyone knows hearsay about them.”

“My interest is piqued,” Sam said, curiosity in his irises. “Who are they?”

————

“There’s one more thing I gotta tell you,” Gabriel said a little while later.

“Okay,” Sam brushed away some flyaway hairs on Gabriel’s face.

“Our whole, um,” Gabriel paused, “nickname thing with Loki and Sigyn. Um. The thing is,” he soldiered on, “I don’t think it’s just a playful nickname. I really think you’re Sigyn.”

Sam furrowed his eyebrows. “How...what do you mean?”

“Loki is long dead, but there will always be a part of him inside me. I think...you remember Aphrodite?” Sam nodded. “Well, she had a little theory,” Gabriel explained, “that she told Cassie long ago. She believed that,” Gabriel knew he was about to sound crazy, but he continued, “both you and Dean harbor a mythological goddess inside you and that you’re a human reincarnation of the originals.”

Sam’s eyebrows disappeared into his fringe. “So, if that’s true and I’m Sigyn,” he inquired, clearly on the fence, “what does that make Dean?”

“The Persephone to Cassie’s Hades.”

Sam drew in a breath. “Uh huh…”

“She said it made sense because,” Gabriel forced out, “no matter what you’ve been through, you always had faith in God, and loyalty to yourself and to me.”

Sam thought to himself for a moment. Gabriel tried not to freak out internally. He knew how insane this sounded.

Sam met his eyes. “Why did you tell me this?”

Gabriel sighed in relief on the inside. He was glad Sam didn’t outright dismiss it. “We’re going to visit the king and queen of the gods. This could come in handy, especially the eyes trick.”

That intrigued Sam. “Eyes trick?”

Gabriel grinned, and launched into instructions.

————

“Balthazar, what-”

Balthazar stared at the host of people before him. Dean and Castiel, with their family.

The archangel interrupted, “Sam and Gabe are here, and I can’t gain access to their Heaven.”

The room was enveloped in silence.

“How is that possible?” Cas asked.

“They’ve been specifically placed in a restricted zone,” Balthazar said. “I don’t know how they got there, but Gabe or someone else is shutting down outside access.”

“This has to be for a good reason,” Dean muttered. “We just don’t know it yet. Right?”

“That’s what I’m hoping,” Balthazar said warily.

————

“Ready, babe?”

Sam emerged from the bathroom wearing a charcoal suit jacket, pants, and tie. “I’m ready.”

Gabriel smiled. “You sure are, Adonis.”

Sam sent Gabriel a heart-stopping smile upon seeing his blue suit ensemble. “You too.”

————

The casino cube was far rowdier than Sam expected.

Gabriel’s explanations didn’t do it justice. It was a truly insane gambling den. The likes of such places shouldn’t even exist in Heaven.

But they had to find where the elusive and infamous Zeus and Hera were hiding.

“Deal into a game,” Gabriel murmured in Sam’s ear. “I’ll scope out the place.”

Making sure no one was watching, Sam dropped a slow kiss on Gabriel’s lips. As always, Gabriel melted into him for a few beats. Sam pulled away and whispered, “good luck, babe.”

Gabriel slipped away, Sam doing as he was commanded and sitting at a poker table.

————

“Their house isn’t restricted anymore,” Balthazar said, looking at Heaven schematics floating in midair. “Who wants to come with me?”

Dean and Castiel were the first to step up. Their makeshift family — Mary, Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Donna, Jo, and Charlie — followed suit. They decided to leave John out of it until Dean could explain to Sam, as well as Jack due to his duties as Heaven’s messenger.

And since the family had nothing better to do, they followed Balthazar into the unknown.

————

“A fucking mansion,” Dean said in awe. “Are you fucking serious?”

“Fuck them, honestly,” Jo said.

————

Sam left the poker table with some decent winnings an hour later. 

Then, Sam sensed Gabriel rake dark eyes over him from the bar. Sam strode towards him inconspicuously. As a joke, he ordered a shot of whiskey.

Gabriel sipped a martini and said, “you must think you’re so clever.”

Sam brought his lips to the glass, taking the whiskey shot in one fell swoop. He placed the shot glass upside down on the bar.

“The place is clear,” Gabriel informed him. “I’ll guide you through an earpiece to find the coordinates. The records should be in one of the back rooms.”

“You’re gonna guide me while singing?”

“Mhm.” A smirk reached Gabriel’s face. “You know how I multitask well.”

Oh, Sam did. He tamped down on a burst of desire pooling in his stomach. Now wasn’t the time for that. “How, may I ask, are you going to do that?” 

“What you’ll hear in the earpiece,” Gabriel said, “is the voice in my head, not my physical voice.”

“How philosophically abstract,” Sam mused. “I’ll want details later.”

“Of course.” Gabriel finished his martini, the empty glass clinking against the bar. “Let’s get to work.”

————

“They’re not here,” Balthazar declared, after spending the better part of an hour exploring the mansion.

The family gathered in the main chamber by the front door.

“And there’s something else,” Balthazar said mysteriously, looking at a hovering screen in the air. “This house showed up two nights ago. The system is meant to close off each Heaven for one full day, then unlock. Not only did this one stay secure until now,” Balthazar paused, “but the time stamp on this house entering the area,” he looked at everyone, “is marked at one month.”

There was a lengthy silence.

“My brother’s been here a month?” Dean asked, clearly hurt.

“Our brothers,” Cas reminded him gruffly.

“Gabe’s been hiding them on purpose. It has to be him,” Balthazar said.

“But why?” Charlie asked.

That was the million dollar question, wasn’t it?

Balthazar’s screen pinged.

The archangel’s eyes widened. “I have their location.”

————

Gabriel settled at the piano on the casino’s side stage. It was time for the distraction to begin.

A guitar played off to his side on its own accord, Gabriel’s fingers gliding across the piano keys in answer. He began to sing.

...I walked across an empty land. I knew the pathway like the back of my hand. I felt the earth beneath my feet. Sat by the river, and it made me complete…

————

Sam turned on the earpiece, Gabriel’s voice echoing throughout the space. “Are you trying to kill me, Gabriel Winchester?”

“Imagine my laugh for me, will you?” Gabriel said through the earpiece.

Sam did. Warmth spread through his insides.

“Now listen to me, doll,” Gabriel said, something between a request and an order.

Sam listened.

————

...Oh, simple thing, where have you gone? I’m getting old, and I need something to rely on. So tell me when you’re gonna let me in. I’m getting tired, and I need somewhere to begin... 

The family marched into the packed casino cube, immediately drawn to the voice coming from the stage.

Gabriel’s voice.

He played the piano on stage like nothing was amiss, singing the song beautifully. The sight of him after so long took everyone aback.

...And if you have a minute, why don’t we go, talk about it somewhere only we know? This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go? So why don’t we go?...

“He’s up to something,” Cas murmured to Balthazar.

“They both are,” Balthazar amended.

...This could be the end of everything. So why don’t we go, somewhere only we know, somewhere only we know, somewhere only we know?...

Gabriel glanced at something on the opposite side of the room, then disappeared into thin air as applause lingered.

The family swiveled their heads to the area where Gabriel looked, and saw a suit swish out the door.

Sam.

————

Gabriel and Sam laughed like idiots for a long time after escaping.

They dashed over to a random unoccupied field. They both sat against a large tree trunk, throwing their heads back in laughter.

Sam couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt such a rush. He felt like a successful spy, returning to his partner-in-crime with the coordinates of Zeus and Hera’s Heaven.

Certain areas of Heaven were so secretive that the information was hard to find. Thankfully, Gabriel knew what to do.

Sam thought Gabriel looked ridiculously attractive right now, moonlight casting a glow on his skin and his laugh composing a symphony in the cool night air.

Sam closed his mouth and listened to Gabriel’s laugh taper off. If Gabriel’s laughter were a pool, Sam would swim in it all day and night.

Gabriel huffed out a final laugh, his head tilting to the side in a Cas-like fashion. His eyes sparkled in the darkness. He held out his hand. “The coordinates, my dear.”

Sam removed the slip of paper from his inner jacket pocket. Gabriel took the paper and read the numbers, memorizing them. He tore the paper in half and converted it to ash. The ashes blew away in a momentary breeze, cloaking itself within the darkness.

“I know where they lead,” Gabriel said. “They’re in our neighboring sector.”

Sam huffed out a breathy laugh. “We didn’t have to do this, then.” One side of his mouth quirked upwards. “I still don’t regret it, though.”

“Me neither. That was the most fun we’ve had in...in…”

“Years,” Sam said. “Decades.”

Gabriel hummed. “I missed this,” he said wistfully. “I feel like the Bonnie to your Clyde.”

“Who says you’re Bonnie?” Sam said playfully.

Gabriel chuckled at the thought. “Ready to armor up?”

“Eyes trick?”

“Eyes trick,” Gabriel confirmed.

————

Balthazar spent a lot of time scouring the casino cube feeds. The family watched Sam and Gabriel through the security cameras.

They entered together. They whispered inaudible words to each other. They kissed intimately, not caring about the crowds. Sam won a round of poker. Gabriel disappeared and reappeared in various areas throughout the casino floor. He ordered a martini at the bar. Sam went to speak with him there. He took a shot of whiskey. They talked more, smiling and laughing like nothing was suspicious. They parted a few minutes later. Sam disappeared and reappeared throughout the back rooms of the casino, indicating that he was searching for something. Gabriel sang on the casino side stage, which is when the family entered the cube. Sam hurried back to the casino floor, clearly in possession of what they were looking for. Sam and Gabriel locked eyes from across the room. They both retreated, Gabriel disappearing and Sam going out a side door.

They watched it over and over and over again.

They wanted to know what was going on, but there were no answers contained in the security camera footage.

Balthazar’s screen reappeared and pinged again. “Got ‘em,” he said.

————

Zeus and Hera’s Heaven was a castle.

A fucking castle.

Sam was amazed at the beauty of the architecture. It was obviously Greek in origin, ornate but practical. He expected nothing less from the king and queen of Greek gods.

The fact that Zeus and Hera were perfect soulmates flummoxed Sam. That was why Gabriel chose to speak to them, out of all the other couples. 

Sam and Gabriel heard a party occurring inside the house. Neither of them were surprised that the gods decided to Gatsby it up with private parties.

The guard at the door asked for identification.

Sam and Gabriel shared a look.

Sam dug into his mind, Sigyn reaching out willingly. His irises glowed ivy green with flecks of gold inside them. He saw Gabriel’s shining a green-yellow, like a serpent bathing in liquid gold.

The guard’s eyes widened in surprise, but he let them inside the castle.

————

Aphrodite, Apollo, and Artemis threw a wrench into their plans. A momentary distraction.

Gabriel plastered on a smile and greeted his old friends, keeping his cool outwardly. Sam hung back and took stock of their surroundings.

When there was an opening, Gabriel made an excuse and grasped Sam’s forearm. He lead Sam away and searched for their targets.

————

Everyone surveyed the open field in Heaven, searching for clues.

“Why’d they come here?” Dean asked no one in particular.

“I think they just needed a minute,” Jo said.

“They did just steal something,” Charlie said matter-of-factly. “Makes sense.”

They wandered around the field, waiting for Sam and Gabriel’s location to reappear on Balthazar’s radar.

————

Sam and Gabriel found Zeus and Hera mingling with guests in a more secretive area of the main rooms.

They weren’t what Sam was imagining. They looked like normal human beings, with a slight supernatural quality that Sam couldn’t put his finger on.

Gabriel put his body in front of Sam’s protectively, approaching them first, his eyes aglow. Sam allowed Gabriel to stay ahead of him three paces.

Zeus and Hera looked up at Gabriel, and fell into silence. Their guests gawked at Gabriel, then scattered with an intimidating look from Hera.

“My Gods,” Zeus said in disbelief, “is that you, Hermes?”

“Hermes isn’t at the con right now,” Gabriel said. “My other ego is.”

Hera studied Gabriel’s eyes. “Loki.”

Gabriel held up his hands. “I bring no tricks. Not anymore.”

Zeus and Hera directed their attention to Sam.

“Because of him?” Hera asked. Her eyes glowed a silver-purple. “Or should I say her?”

Zeus’s eyes flashed a blue-white, the color of lightning. “Sigyn.”

Sam inclined his head in a nod, not trusting himself to speak.

“I’m surprised that you’re here,” Hera said. “Why are you here?”

Gabriel made sure the room was cleared before replying, “we have a query. That’s all.”

“About?” Hera prompted.

“Perfect soulmates,” Gabriel said.

Zeus and Hera had a silent conversation with one another.

Hera said to the couple, “you may sit.”

————

“Follow our lead,” Castiel said to their family upon seeing the castle guards ahead.

Cas and Dean had a silent conversation.

Castiel brought Hades to the surface, his eyes turning an ashen gray. Dean’s Persephone green eyes rose to meet his. Both of them determined, they nodded to each other and started towards the front door.

“What in the hell,” Bobby uttered, looking at the couple confusedly.

“Dean and Cassie aren’t on the phone right now,” Balthazar explained as they walked forward. “They’re Hades and Persephone.”

“How the fu-”

“Language, Charlie,” Jo chastised.

The group approached a guard, Dean and Cas in the front. Castiel showed him his eyes.

The guard stepped back as if he’d been burned.

He looked between the couple in shock, but let the entire group inside the castle.

————

Gabriel and Sam told Zeus and Hera their love story without using their real names. The king and queen of Greek gods absorbed the information carefully, trying to piece together the details they’ve been given.

Gabriel then posed his — and Sam’s — question. “Why are we here as perfect halves of a whole?”

Zeus and Hera observed the stoic pairing across from them, as if trying to dissect them, peer into their hearts and souls.

“You wish to know because,” Zeus said, “we are also an unlikely couple.”

“The only reason I know that we’re here,” Hera said, speaking for her and Zeus, “is because we have a deep affection for one another. No matter where we go, or what we do,” Hera leaned forward and whispered, as if voicing a closely-guarded secret, “we come back to each other at the end of it all. Always. And so it shall always be.”

Picking up on Hera’s thought process, Zeus continued for her, “your story is truly unconventional. The most intriguing story I’ve heard in a very long time. And that is where your answer lies.”

Hera spelled it out for Sam and Gabriel. “You are considered perfect soulmates because you are imperfect.”

“Your imperfections,” Zeus concluded, “are perfect complements to one another. You are perfectly imperfect, and that makes you two perfect halves of a whole. Perfect soulmates.”

————

Zeus and Hera’s words echoed in Sam’s mind as they left the castle through the back doors. Sam unshouldered his suit jacket and wore it like a cloak, his footsteps crushing the freshly mown grass. Gabriel walked alongside him, his suit jacket discarded altogether, his tie undone around his neck. 

Sam tried not to stare at the flashes of Gabriel’s skin he saw between rustling dress shirt buttons.

Once they were far enough away from the castle grounds, Sam stopped them with a light tug on Gabriel’s arm.

Gabriel faced Sam, looking up at him through his eyelashes. “Yes?”

“Did you find the answer you were hoping for?”

Gabriel wrapped his arms around Sam’s middle, resting his chin on Sam’s chest. His eyes sparkling with joy, he replied, “I did, and it was a better answer than I could have ever expected.”

“Did you expect it to be a flaw in the system?”

“Perhaps,” Gabriel said noncommittally. “Or an absolutely wonderful error that Chuck made.”

“God doesn’t make mistakes.”

“And that,” Gabriel smirked, “is what makes you my Sigyn.” 

Sam dropped a kiss on Gabriel’s lips. “Wanna go home?”

Gabriel nodded against Sam’s chest. “Let’s.”

————

Castiel was flabbergasted upon entering the party and seeing his old friends.

“Aphra?!” Cas exclaimed.

Aphrodite approached Cas and Dean with a wide grin. “Hello, dears. Lovely to see you. Did you come with Sam and Gabriel?”

Cas and Dean’s mouths fell open. 

“They were here?” Dean asked.

Aphrodite nodded confusedly. “You didn’t know?”

Artemis and Apollo approached. Artemis said, “they were just here a little bit ago.”

“They were talking with Zeus and Hera,” Apollo informed them. “Seemed important.”

Dean and Castiel shared a look.

Then, Cas remembered, “you were right about us, Aphra.” He flashed Aphrodite his gray eyes. “The whole incarnation thing. You were right about all of it.”

There was a glimmer in Aphrodite’s magenta eyes. A half-smile reached her face. “Of course I am, H.”

Castiel smirked despite himself. An understanding that Cas couldn’t name passed between them.

Cas addressed Aphrodite, Apollo, and Artemis. “I hope I see you all again soon.”

After a round of nods, Cas lead Dean by the forearm to Zeus and Hera.

————

Jack wasn’t one for stalking.

But John Winchester intrigued him.

Dean had rarely talked about his father when he was alive. When he did, it was in a negative light. He had even heard as much from Claire, when she once inquired and Dean discussed John’s homophobia. Jack didn’t understand how the notion of same-sex marriage trivialized people, but a history lesson soon answered that question.

John had become more tolerant throughout his stay in Heaven. On Balthazar’s orders, though, the nephilim kept his distance.

He was tired of keeping away.

John saw Jack fortifying the magic door — which only allowed authorized visitors in and out — on his front lawn with some basic spells and decided to approach him. Jack kept a neutral demeanor.

John asked, “you’re Jack, right?”

Jack finished the last syllable of an Enochian spell, turning around to face John. “That’s my name, yes. Jack Kline.”

John raised an eyebrow. “Kline?”

Jack replied, “my mother’s maiden name.”

He pushed down the melancholy feeling he always got when discussing Kelly Kline, his mother. Jack watched her from afar in Heaven, occasionally, but he didn’t have the guts to speak to her. It made Jack feel like a coward.

He would meet her, one day. He would. Very soon.

John chose not to veer further into the topic. “Are you my grandson, then?”

Jack shrugged. “Adoptive grandson, maybe. Not sure what the term is.” A lightbulb went off in his head. His eyes widened and a little smile dominated his features. “That would be a fun thing for me to research!”

Jack’s sudden excitement resulted in an amused glint in John’s eyes. John mused, “I’m glad there’s a happy member of this family.”

“They’ve always been kind of a bummer,” Jack said flippantly, referring to most of the people that composed his makeshift family. “But dying helps.”

John held back a smile. “I can see how that could be true.”

Jack shrugged for no particular reason. “Well, I’ll see you around.”

“Jack?”

“Yeah?”

John paused, then said, “I’m glad you were there to cheer everybody up.”

Jack side smiled and flew away.

————

“They were just asking questions,” Dean repeated for the umpeenth time, pacing around his shared cabin with Cas. The entire family — most of whom had never seen the couple’s Heaven — examined Dean’s Polaroids to pass the time.

Dean tried not to think about the invasion of privacy. He had nothing to fear from his family, anyway.

Dean and Cas had visited Zeus and Hera, and were told the very sentence Dean kept repeating as an answer.

The family had been racking their brains all night as to what Sam and Gabriel were doing, and why.

After hearing those words, they decided to end their search. They would wait for Sam and Gabriel to come to them.

Once the family realized that Dean, Cas, and Balthazar weren’t getting anywhere, they bid them goodbye. They would regroup another time.

————

“Somebody’s been here,” Gabriel said, sensing a change in the air as he entered his shared Heaven with Sam.

Sam surveyed the main chamber of their mansion. “How can you tell?”

“You told me to hide us,” Gabriel reminded him. He brought up a screen that appeared in midair. “When we left the grounds, our Heaven’s location appeared on the radar long enough for,” Gabriel paused, “Bali to alert everyone that we’re here.”

Sam felt a weight make a home in his stomach. He felt hot, and his skin paled. “I wonder what they must think of us.”

Gabriel frowned. “Don’t do that. Don’t feel guilty.” Gabriel stared into Sam’s eyes and reminded him resolutely, “we needed this month together. We needed it.”

Sam held Gabriel in place, his hands grasping Gabriel’s hips lightly. “You’re right. I don’t regret any of it.” Sam brought one of his hands to cup Gabriel’s jaw. “This was the best month of my life...or should I say my death?”

“I get it,” Gabriel said breathily. “I’m perfectly content with just you.”

“Perfectly imperfect,” Sam exhaled. “That’s what Zeus and Hera were getting at.”

Gabriel did a half-nod in agreement. He stood on his tiptoes, Sam’s hand rising with Gabriel’s face as they kissed softly.

Sam worried his bottom lip once Gabriel pulled away, making the sweetness linger on his tongue. “What do you wanna do about this?”

Gabriel sighed. “I restricted access to our Heaven. The choice of when you want to face the scrutiny of our family is entirely yours.”

Sam already knew his answer, but it wasn’t the right one. He felt selfish, but he spoke his decision aloud anyway. “I didn’t think going out tonight would cut our vacation so short.”

Gabriel smiled, the action lighting up his face. “How many days?”

“Three.”

Gabriel laughed. “Three sacred days it is.” He pulled up a screen and set the lockdown for three days. “Now,” Gabriel faced Sam again, “what do you wanna do?”

Sam smirked.

“You’re right. Stupid question.”

Sam took Gabriel’s hand and lead him to a bedroom.

————

“You’re blowing this out of proportion,” Castiel said.

Dean paced. “I really hope so.”

————

Jack decided to jump in and just do it.

He fearlessly approached his mother in Heaven, hardly registering her face from the old video of her. 

Kelly set her eyes on Jack and recognized him immediately. Jack hugged her, Kelly holding back sobs and repeating Jack’s name in disbelief.

Jack learned what complete contentment felt like.

————

Sam paced around one of their mansion’s many bathrooms. 

He felt like this was the wrong decision. His mind was going wild as to what everyone must think of him. Knowing his older brother, Dean had probably overthought what occurred two nights ago.

Gabriel kept assuring Sam vehemently that he deserved to be selfish sometimes, that they deserved this time together. Gabriel would look at him with a glint in his eyes after saying this, a confident little spark, and Sam would lose himself in his husband. Sam would forget his woes temporarily, but they kept springing back up at the most inopportune moments.

Like now, for instance.

“Your thoughts are loud, my love.”

My love. That was a new one.

Sam halted and set his eyes on the claw foot bathtub nearby. An army of bubbles — unfortunately — covered up Gabriel’s body far too well. Gabriel’s neck rested against the edge of the tub, his wet hair dripping onto the tile.

Sam knelt next to the bathtub, examining Gabriel’s exposed neck, begging to be kissed. Sam’s gaze travelled to Gabriel’s shut eyes, his lashes fanning his cheeks in the most heavenly way, then to his shining skin and dripping strands of hair.

Gabriel was most beautiful this way. Unguarded. Relaxed. Sensual.

Sam murmured, “I didn’t know you could hear them.”

Gabriel’s silky pink lips parted. “If I wish to. But these thoughts of yours are hard to ignore.”

“Sorry.” Sam found that he didn’t mind that Gabriel could occasionally hear his thoughts. It didn’t feel like an intrusion when it once would have; he had nothing to fear from his own husband.

Gabriel’s hair dripped noticeably against the tile as he inhaled and exhaled. Gabriel’s eyes opened at last, looking more like a golden sunset than whiskey. “They’ll be expecting a spectacle of a story that we can’t give them.”

“I wasn’t thinking of doing that.”

“Yes, you were.”

“I entertained it,” Sam admitted.

A beat. “The truth isn’t so bad, you know.”

“I’m not sure that’ll fly, exactly. I’m not telling everyone that I wanted to hide because I wanted to fuck my husband in peace.”

Gabriel’s laugh sang against the bathroom tiles and walls. “Don’t be so crude, sweetheart.”

“Make love to my husband in peace,” Sam amended.

“There you go.” Gabriel paused. “We’ll just say we wanted time together. They can connect the dots.”

“And our outings?”

“We wanted answers, which we found.”

“Can’t get more mysterious than that,” Sam commented.

“That ambiguous answer is what they’ll get. They’ll be bummed, but it’s the sort-of truth.”

“From a certain point of view.”

Gabriel laughed at the Star Wars quote. “I fucking love you.”

“Love you too, babe.” Sam stood up and shucked off his shirt. “Mind if I come in?”

“Oh, honey,” Gabriel said desirously, “I thought you’d never ask.”

————

“The chamber of secrets has finally opened,” Balthazar declared.

————

Sam and Gabriel greeted the angry mob outside their door with grace and nonchalance.

They quickly said their mysterious explanation and that they would get nothing else.

The family — Jack being included in this particular venture — called it even. Sam and Gabriel allowed them inside.

Dean and Castiel hugged their brothers tightly, and everyone got reacquainted.

————

“I told you not to worry,” Castiel said pointedly.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean said. “I get it.”

“Have faith in more than just me,” Cas reminded him.

“Have faith in my brother. I know. I will.”

————

“There’s some news I have to break to you,” Dean said to Sam.

Sam frowned at the seriousness of his brother’s tone. “Let’s go someplace else, then.”

Sam and Dean went into one of the mansion’s many rooms and shut the door. Dean took in his surroundings, which seemed to be a study of some kind. Clearly Sam’s touch.

They sat on a small couch, Sam buzzing with curiosity.

Dean sighed and said gravely, “John is here.”

Dean could hear a pin drop in the silence those three words caused.

Sam exhaled shakily after a few beats. “Wh-what?”

“It’s an incredibly long story,” Dean said, “but he’s here to stay.”

Sam took a few breaths, absorbing this information. To Dean’s surprise, Sam’s first words were, “you or Cas didn’t punch him in the face?”

“We restrained ourselves.”

“You didn’t need me to hold you back after all,” Sam said proudly.

“Are you,” Dean studied Sam’s expression, “seriously okay with this?”

Sam shrugged. “I mean...I don’t have much of a choice, do I?”

Dean huffed. “I guess not.”

“Is he really...okay with...you? Me? Us?”

“He received an ultimatum,” Dean said. “Accept us both or leave.”

Sam’s eyebrows climbed to his hairline. “Damn, Dean Winchester. Good for you.”

“It was Mom, actually.”

“Huh.” Sam smiled. “Good for her. Now tell me this long story.”

Dean did.

————

“Are you for real?!” Gabriel exclaimed.

Castiel sighed. “I’m afraid so. You gotta meet your father-in-law.”

“Well, shit.”

“I know.”

“I don’t fucking need this.”

“I know. I was scared too.”

Gabriel faced Cas. “But you’re you. And I’m me.”

Castiel knew exactly what Gabriel meant. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. Dean already talked you up.”

Gabriel furrowed his eyebrows. “Seriously? Was he receptive?”

“John is curious about you, as he was curious about me. I think that’s a rather good stepping stone to start you off.”

“But I’m not at all like you, Cassie.”

“And he knows that.”

Gabriel pursed his lips. “I’m gonna make an ass out of myself.”

“You don’t know that. Just hold your tongue. I know that’s difficult for you,” Cas said playfully, “but stick to only the most important words. You taught me that, remember?”

Gabriel had. “Choose your words carefully, Cassiel.” “Don’t draw attention to yourself unless you want to be seen, Cassiel.” “Lie in wait, then strike hard, Cassiel.” Those were just a sampling of the lessons he taught Cas as an impressionable young cherub.

“I suppose the student has become the teacher,” Gabriel mused.

“Remember what you taught me, old man,” Cas said, “and you’ll be alright.”

Gabriel swatted Castiel’s arm. “We haven’t been talking five minutes, and you’re already flapping your gums.”

Cas winked. “I know you missed me.”

————

Sam felt like this wasn’t real.

But here he was, sitting across from his long-dead father in Heaven.

Sam never had a good relationship with John in the living world. John wanted him to be the perfect soldier like his brother, but Sam always preferred to have his nose in a book rather than shoot monsters. But that was how Dean and Sam worked; Dean took care of the heavy lifting, giving Sam time to study and learn from his books. Dean always had his back.

Until now.

Sam was on his own, now. He had been ever since Dean helped him escape John when he turned eighteen. John had disowned him with that action, but Dean was proud of him for going to college.

Dean was always proud of him. Always there when John wasn’t.

That was why John never meant much to Sam. His rebellion used to insult John. Now that Sam’s entire life on Earth was behind him and he had no regrets, this set the stage for a strange situation.

Dean said that John accepted them, but did he really?

He never accepted Sam. Not completely, anyway.

What were the rules in Sam’s case?

He really didn’t want to be alone with his father right now. He wished Mary hadn’t just left.

John spoke first. “It’s good to see you again, Sam.”

So this was how they were going to start this conversation. It was time to put the kibosh on small talk immediately.

Sam said, “Dean told me how you got here. Was he right about what you said?”

“I would do anything for you boys. You know that.”

Sam didn’t know that. “Okay. Well, um...I don’t know how to...”

Talk to you, Sam finished in his mind.

“Me neither,” John admitted. “But we’re gonna figure this out.”

Sam was shocked by John’s commitment to patching things up between them. “Okay, then.”

————

Gabriel paced like a nervous wreck until Sam returned to their mansion.

Sam walked into the sitting room and halted Gabriel. He looked up at Sam and took a breath to center himself. “Hey. How’d it go?”

Sam steadied Gabriel by placing his hands on Gabriel’s sides. “It went alright. There’s no need to be so tense, Gabe.” Gabriel rested his head on Sam’s chest, burrowing there. Sam ran his hands up and down Gabriel’s back. “What’s got you all worked up?”

“You know what,” Gabriel muffled.

Sam dropped a kiss atop Gabriel’s head. He said into his husband’s hair, “I know how nervous you are to meet him. But he was alright. I’m as shocked about that as you must be. If he even tries to say anything against you, I’ll kick my old man’s ass into next week.”

Gabriel found himself chuckling. Sam allowed Gabriel to tilt his head up to look at him. Gabriel’s eyes shined. “There’s no need for that. I can do that myself. I’m not the kind of guy you bring home to your parents, anyway.”

“My mom would disagree.”

“I know how to charm people,” Gabriel muttered. “Doesn’t mean I’m a model husband.”

Sam brought one of his hands up to caress Gabriel’s cheek. “That’s exactly why you are. Didn’t you listen to what Zeus and Hera said?”

Gabriel exhaled deeply through his nose. “You got me. But I’m still freaking out.”

“Be a tamer version of yourself,” Sam advised. “I don’t want him to see all your crazy on the first meeting. I want him to be constantly perplexed by you, just as I was.”

“But you get me now.”

“Mhm. And I know that right now,” Gabriel’s eyes were enraptured with Sam’s lips as he murmured, “you need a distraction to silence your thoughts.”

Gabriel’s head nodded as if on autopilot. “You do provide truly wonderful distractions.”

His last syllable was swallowed up by Sam’s lips, and Gabriel melted into his husband’s embrace willingly.

————

Sam was getting less and less shy around his mother.

He hardly knew the woman. She was around for such a short time on Earth that he hadn’t engaged in many conversations with her.

That was about to change. Sam now had an eternity to know his mother, to ask her anything he wanted and learn about the wonderful Mary Winchester that his brother and Cas had told him so much about.

Mary turned out to be incredibly easy to talk to. Where John never understood Sam, Mary could decipher him perfectly. She had been the missing link between Sam and John this entire time. Dean was a good mediator, but even he couldn’t read his brother’s mind that well. Mary had the keys that Dean could never acquire.

Mary would ask Sam anything, and he had zero qualms about answering. The old Sam would have been instantly suspicious, but this was Heaven, and they had spent decades in an age of peace. That had changed Sam’s — and Dean’s — mindset quite significantly.

Once Sam got over his shyness, he found that Mary made him comfortable in a way no one had before— except for Gabriel, of course. He truly could tell her anything, and she wouldn’t judge.

Sam finally had a mother, and he wouldn’t waste such an opportunity.

————

Gabriel was about to meet John, and he was absolutely petrified.

Sam promised not to stray far while John spoke to him. That gave Gabriel some comfort.

And the way they made love that morning still held traces in Gabriel’s memory, a layer of warmth blanketing his nerves.

Sam’s fingers spun Gabriel’s wedding ring as they held hands. Gabriel took it as a reminder. John couldn’t break them. They were solid. 

Mary lead them inside, taking Sam with her to the kitchen. That left Gabriel to sit across from John Winchester.

Gabriel refused to bend to John’s scrutiny. He stared back and didn’t cow under the pressure.

He was strong. Stronger than an ox. Stronger than a tsunami. Stronger than the thunder and the lightning. Stronger than John Winchester ever was, or could ever dream of being.

“You’re a curious one,” John said. 

“Oh, good,” Gabriel said in relief, his first words to his father-in-law.

They amused John, but not in an unfriendly manner. “You’re not like your brothers at all.”

“I taught them what I know. What they did from there was their choice.”

There was a glint in John’s eyes that Gabriel couldn’t name. “You’re the eldest, I take it?”

“Yes.”

“Dean tells me you were an archangel.”

“Yes. One of four.”

That piqued John’s interest. “There’s seven in the Bible.”

“There’s four. But I suppose my brother Balthazar is an inducted fifth member.”

“What happened to the other three?”

“They’re long dead. Clearly.”

John read something in Gabriel. “You’ve been through a lot. I can tell.”

“Everyone in this family has.”

“But you,” John said empathetically, “more than most.”

Gabriel pushed down all of his bad memories before they could rise up. “Like you said,” he said blankly, “I’m the eldest.”

“Fair enough.” John leaned back in his armchair. At some point, he must have moved forward in his seat from sheer curiosity. “What about Sam made you give it all up?”

What a loaded question. Gabriel, choosing not to think about John’s motive for asking, answered, “Sam is the best person I’ve ever met in my life. And he’s the only person that will deal with me that isn’t familially obligated to.”

That got John to chuckle. “I know what you mean.”

Okay. Good. This was good. He was laughing, and this was good.

Gabriel imagined pumping his fist in the air like the basket case from The Breakfast Club.

John said, “I’ve heard all these things about Dean and your brother. They told me that they kept everything secretive, but I think you and Sam are the secretive ones here. I’ve hardly heard a lick about you two.”

“Thank you.”

John laughed again.

“My humor and comedic timing is one of my few redeeming qualities. Thanks for laughing.”

An idea seemingly occurred to John. “I have such a hard time speaking to Sam. You’re quite easy to talk to, aren’t you?”

“I suppose I’m more...socially inclined than Sam.”

John smiled. “You could be the bridge I need to communicate with him.”

Gabriel knew what he was getting at. “Maybe.”

————

“This is stupid.”

“This is romantic!” Gabriel countered.

Gabriel lead Sam by blindfold to a place in Heaven that he knew Sam would love.

He actually wasn’t sure if he would get Sam back at the end of the day. But as long as Sam was happy, Gabriel was happy.

Gabriel lead Sam by the forearm inside the main chamber. “Okay. Take off your blindfold.”

“I still think,” Sam untied the blindfold, “that this is,” the cloth fell from Sam’s vision, the whole picture being revealed, “oh.” Sam blinked in shock. “Whoa.”

Gabriel’s grin was so wide that it made his cheeks ache. He took in the same image Sam was. “I give you,” Gabriel paused for effect, “the largest library in the entire universe.”

Heaven’s library had physical copies and records of every book ever written. The shelves were so tall that it required multiple ladders to get to the top shelf.

The library may have been built for angels, but Gabriel thought it was meant for bookworms like Sam to enjoy too.

“My God,” Sam breathed, “I really am in Heaven.”

“I’ll try not to take that personally.”

Sam’s gaze tore away from the eternal shelves of books before him. His eyes slid over Gabriel’s and he said, “I’m sorry. This is amazing.” He smiled, and it was so right and nice and easy that Gabriel felt accomplished. It took a lot of pain to get Sam to smile like that so readily. “I love you.” Sam moved to face Gabriel. “This is the best gift I’ve ever received.”

“Isn’t there something you’re supposed to give in return,” Gabriel tilted his head up, “as a show of gratitude?”

Sam leaned down and kissed Gabriel fearlessly. If there were people around, Gabriel was sure they would be blinded at the beautiful picture they painted. Gabriel pulled away, flustered a little. 

Sam said earnestly, “this is a lovely gift. Thank you, and I’m sorry in advance for all the time I’m going to spend here.”

Gabriel chuckled. “You’ll be forgiven every time,” he whispered, “as long as you do me right when you come home.”

Sam bit his lip. “Okay, babe. Consider it done.”

“Good.” Gabriel left the orbit he was captured in. “There’s something else here. Come on.”

Sam followed Gabriel to the scripture section of the library. He observed ancient texts and tomes as he went down the aisle.

Until a set of very familiar books lined the end of a shelf.

Sam snorted. “Of fucking course.”

Gabriel leaned against the shelf with an amused smile. “They’re inescapable, I’m afraid.”

Sam examined the rows and rows that now documented his and Dean’s lives. “How many of these did you write?”

When the war to end all monsters was over, Chuck bestowed Gabriel with a great power: finishing Chuck’s work of writing the Winchester Gospel. Gabriel toiled for the majority of his final decades to detail the visions God gave him. It was Chuck’s wish to have a completed documentation of Sam and Dean’s lives, still under the guise of a fantasy novel series. Gabriel wrote and published book after book, Sam having no choice but to watch it happen. Sam had grown to accept the situation, but that didn’t mean he completely approved. Gabriel understood; it was an invasion of privacy that no one in their right mind would be comfortable with. But God himself ordered it, and so it shall be, and so it must happen.

Now, a physical slash astral manifestation of Gabriel’s hard work had appeared at Heaven’s library, in the scripture section where it technically belonged.

Gabriel replied to Sam, “I actually lost count.”

“Well,” Sam looked at the dozens of book spines, “there’s a ton here. And we gotta make sure no one finds these.”

“They probably won’t,” Gabriel said, referring to their makeshift family. “And if they do, who really cares? It’s in the past.”

Sam sighed. “I guess. It’s still weird. Having my life on shelves.”

“Those books don’t contain everything. Mainly cases. I did it that way on purpose.”

“I don’t even know what’s in,” Sam ran his fingers across book spines, “most of these.”

“Read them, then.”

Expecting Sam to dismiss the idea, Gabriel was shocked to see his eyes light up.

Gabriel had forgotten. Sam loves projects. It’s what made him work so hard to become a lawyer, and later a talented artist.

“Maybe I should,” Sam said, which Gabriel knew was a yes, “and critique your writing.”

Gabriel gasped and clutched his heart, taking mock offense. “Are you saying I’m a subpar writer?!”

Sam smirked. “We’ll see, my love.”

My love. Gabriel liked when Sam said it. It was better than when Gabriel said it. Sweeter, warmer, deeper. More tender.

My love, my love, my love. If Gabriel had a tape recorder, he would play the way Sam said that phrase constantly.

“Okay.” Gabriel pushed his body off the shelf. “Be that way. Now get to reading, book boy.”

Sam found the beginning of the shelves containing his life.

He pulled out the first book.

**Author's Note:**

> My final work in this series will be out next week. *sobs* 
> 
> Kudos and comments are appreciated!


End file.
